Low self-esteem and anxiety

Low self-esteem and anxiety often operate in a loop, feeding and reinforcing each other in subtle, exhausting ways. When your self-worth is low, it’s easy to get caught up in anxious overthinking because deep down, you don’t trust that you’re enough as you are. Every mistake feels like a catastrophe. Every interaction becomes something to dissect. And every moment of uncertainty feels like a reflection of your inadequacy, rather than a normal part of life.

Anxiety tell you that you’re doing it wrong, that people are judging you, that something bad will happen if you don’t get it perfect. And when your self-esteem is fragile, it’s harder to challenge those thoughts because part of you believes them. You might over-apologise, second-guess everything you say or try to control every outcome just to feel safe. It’s not about being dramatic or overly sensitive; it’s about trying to earn your right to exist comfortably in the world.

Healing means learning to anchor yourself in a more compassionate inner voice. It means slowly building a relationship with yourself that says, “I don’t have to be perfect to be okay. I can make mistakes, be uncertain, feel afraid — and still be worthy.” It’s not about never feeling anxious; it’s about not letting anxiety dictate your worth.

 

Signs to look out for:

  • Overthinking every interaction or decision

  • Fear of being judged or criticised

  • Constantly seeking reassurance

  • Avoiding new situations or challenges

  • Worrying about things out of your control

  • Feeling like you’re “too much” or “not enough”

  • Trouble relaxing, even when things are going well

  • Being highly self-critical when things go wrong

  • Struggling to trust yourself

 

Let’s re-frame:

 

Everyone’s thinking about how awkward I was

→ Most people are thinking about themselves and kindness matters more than perfection.

 

If I don’t get it right, I’ll embarrass myself

→ Trying is brave. I don’t have to get it right to be worthy.

 

They haven’t replied, they must be mad at me

→ There are a hundred reasons someone might not reply. It’s not always about me.

 

I can’t handle this feeling

→ This feeling is intense, not permanent. I’ve survived discomfort before and I can again.

 

I have to be in control to feel safe

→ It’s okay to not know. Uncertainty isn’t a threat; it’s a space where growth happens.

 

If I say the wrong thing, they’ll stop liking me

→ I don’t have to perform to be loved. Real connection doesn’t require perfection.

 

I need to be calm all the time

→ Anxiety is a part of me, not the whole of me. I can still move forward with shaky hands.